Jr so much wanted to be like, and play along with, the rest of the children.
Unfortunately, Jr's mom had slept with a cactus, so Jr was not like the other children.
And the other children did not like "cactus heads."
One day, there will be a monument built in my honor... not because I did anything great, but simply because I will be self-absorbed enough to build a monument to myself and will subsequently plant rumors all over the world that will make people think said monument is on par with (or better than) Mt. Rushmore.
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